05/13/2008 - Dallas, TX (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Detroit Red Wings forward Johan Franzen is still experiencing concussion-like symptoms and has been ruled out for Wednesday's Game 4 of the Western Conference finals against the Dallas Stars.
Franzen was also scratched from the lineup in Games 2 and 3 for the Red Wings, who are on the verge of a sweep. He underwent tests on Monday, and the Red Wings were awaiting results.
Franzen has a league-high and franchise-record 12 goals in the postseason. He is the first player to score 12 playoff goals since Rob Brind'Amour for Carolina in 2006. Five of his goals have been game-winners and he has also added three assists.
<< Detroit G Billups out for Game 5
Auburn Hills, MI (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Pistons guard Chauncey Billups will
miss Game 5 of Detroit's Eastern Conference semifinal series with the Orlando
Magic on Tuesday with a strained right hamstring.
Billups was hurt with 8:11 left
<< Bruins grant Kobasew contract extension
Boston, MA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Boston Bruins signed forward Chuck
Kobasew to a multi-year contract extension on Tuesday.
Per club policy, terms of the deal were not disclosed.
The 26-year-old enjoyed a solid year for the
<< Pirates call up RHP Salas
St. Louis, MO (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Pittsburgh Pirates selected the
contract of right-handed pitcher Marino Salas from Triple-A Indianapolis on
Tuesday.
In a corresponding move, the club optioned righthander John Van Benschote
<< Seahawks Pro-Bowl LB Tatupu arrested for DWI
Seattle, WA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Seattle Seahawks linebacker Lofa Tatupu was
arrested Saturday for investigation of driving while intoxicated, according to
the Seattle Times.
Tatupu was arrested in Kirkland, Washington early Saturday m
Penguins' Roberts will sit for Game 3 >>
Philadelphia, PA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Pittsburgh Penguins forward Gary Roberts
will miss Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals Tuesday against the
Philadelphia Flyers due to an illness.
The 41-year-old has been in and out of the lineup th
Raiders sign DE Spires >>
Alameda, CA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Oakland Raiders signed veteran free agent
defensive end Greg Spires on Tuesday.
Spires has started in 94 of the 147 games he's played in over his career,
which began in 1998. He has 39.5 career sacks
Cards LHP Johnson to undergo shoulder surgery >>
St. Louis, MO (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The St. Louis Cardinals announced Tuesday
that relief pitcher Tyler Johnson is scheduled to undergo arthroscopic surgery
on his left shoulder on Wednesday in Los Angeles.
Johnson was diagnosed with ten
Orioles scratch Mora >>
Baltimore, MD (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Baltimore Orioles were without the
services of third baseman Melvin Mora for Tuesday's series opener against
Boston after he took a ball off his shoulder during warmups.
He was replaced at thi
Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their “supplements” to worry about what their opponents are doing).
Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this won’t be an intelligent discussion.
Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).
Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.
Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a “truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit.” And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. “The plug-necked yahoos on your team,” you can say, “will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.”
The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesn’t focus only on your opponent’s team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.
What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Where’s your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, “I’ll try to type slower for you next time.” Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.
Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, don’t just conclude by saying your opponent is a “twerp who drafts like my grandmother.” Say that your opponent is a “sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars.” By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.
But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You won’t be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, I’m sure, to reply.
In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.
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